+ Dwight K. Schrute. III +
+
+ C/O SCHRUTE FARMS, MAIN STREET, HONESDALE, PA 18431
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+ (T) 570-555-1212 (E) DSCHRUTE@SCHRUTEFARMS.COM +
+ + (T) 570-555-1212 (E) DSCHRUTE@SCHRUTEFARMS.COM +
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
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+
+ -
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- + Star salesman, beet farmer, bed & breakfast proprietor, aspiring freelance bodyguard, office building owner, and former assistant [to the] regional manager + +
- + Able to vanquish customer resistance through physically imposing alpha-male traits and insatiable, merciless, jackhammer-like techniques + +
- + 13-time winner of Salesman of the Month award in 2005 and Salesman of the Year + +
- + Leader and mentor of underlings + +
- + Expert in martial arts weaponry, paintball, and pre-industrial German + +
PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
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+
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+ Dunder Mifflin Paper Co. Inc., A Division of Sabre, Scranton, PA
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+ Sales Representative / Former Assistant [to the] Regional Manager +
+ Micro-cap regional paper and office supply distributor +
+ + Sales Representative / Former Assistant [to the] Regional Manager +
+ Micro-cap regional paper and office supply distributor +
+ 2005 - Present
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+
+
+ -
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- + Close more sales with revenues totaling more US dollars than any other employee, past, present, and future (projected) + +
- + Act as Regional Manager's eyes, ears, and right hand, overseeing and reporting on employee conduct, productivity, and arrival/departure times + +
- + Instituted "Schrute Bucks" reward system, immeasurably raising office morale + +
- + Serve as self-appointed enforcer of The Rules (Policies and Procedures Manual) + +
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+ Schrute Farms,Honesdale, PA
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+ General Manager (concurrent with Dunder Mifflin / Sabre role) +
+ A family-owned 60-acre (240,000-square-meter) working beet farm +
+ + General Manager (concurrent with Dunder Mifflin / Sabre role) +
+ A family-owned 60-acre (240,000-square-meter) working beet farm +
+ 1980 - Present
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+
+
+ -
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- + Manage operations at the #1 beet-related agritourism B&B destination in Northeastern PA + +
- + Provide fine accommodations for beet enthusiasts in themed guest rooms representing "America," "Nighttime," and "Irrigation" + +
- + Meet or exceed beet needs of local stores, restaurants, and roadside stands + +
- + Facilitate recreational activities including but not limited to manure dodge ball, fresh butter statue sculpting, and beet syrup and rum making + +
EDUCATION
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+ Scranton University, Scranton, PA
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+ 1992
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+ Bachelor's Degree, Business Administration
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+ GPA: 2.99987
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+ SPECIALIZED SKILLS
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+
+ -
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- + Willingness to do anything to close a sale and/or please higher-ups + +
- + Resistance to germs, viruses, fungi, and most other health threats + +
- + Ability to raise and lower own cholesterol at will + +
- + Others too numerous to mention + +